A beautiful Autumn morning – the sky was deep pink ahead of the sun rising. It is not cold but a nip touches my cheeks.
I am experimenting outside where the crows are crawing, with Japanese Kimono silk that I bought from the flea market in Kyoto on Christmas day 2023.
The kimono is of brown silk with plumb blossom flowers, lined in scarlet silk with cranes and chrysanthemum in the weave.
It is 7:45am. A man, over the road, is sweeping leaves from around his house with a yard brush. The sound of brushing takes me back to when I lived in China and all I could hear every early morning, was the sound of sturdy bristles sweeping – sweeping rubbish, or dust, or leaves or anything before the honking sound of horns started. Brushing in the hutongs, is a sound that is so deep inside me that I had forgotten it. But here it is, resurrected over the road – not a leaf blower to be heard.
This morning, I am working on my piece called ‘ Between Paper and Silk, and I have again become excited about the kimono fabrics that I bought in Kyoto. It is a pure joy to look at the patterns in the fabric, like water marks of cranes in scarlet.
But, when I apply the glue and water to the scarlet fabric, I think it will wash away the cranes but they are still visible so the fabric is woven. I am learning the materials and how they react to water and shifting light. When I was in Kyoto, Maki San, said that you cannot wash the old kimonos which is why people don’t really want them. I now see 2 reasons why you wouldn’t was a kimono. 1. The colours do run. They are not moder dyes that are set and 2. The pattern that you see dancing in the fabric may be water marks and not weave. Having said all that, the scarlet silk is holding its cranes and chrysanthemums inside.
Here is my progress. Paper Rice bowl. And Cyanotype flower tea pot.
I’m bringing together all of the tools of my crafts
I wanted to share with you, something that I have been quietly working on alongside my knitting designs,
I have been building a new body of work titled ‘Between Paper and Silk’, rooted in the two Japanese concepts of Ma (間)—the space between things—and Mono no aware, the gentle awareness of impermanence. I don’t begin to understand these concepts but I am building my knowledge and expressing my understanding through making. These ideas began to take shape during my time in Kyoto in December 2023/Jan 2024 and will be further explored during a one-month residency in Fujiyoshida with SARUYA Artist Residency, Japan in December 2025, where I will develop further stages of this project.
I am applying for a local Sheffield residency which will give me the perfect space and time for a continuation and deepening of that work. I will create a series of papier-mâché pots, made from my British tea pots and cups alongside vintage Japanese bowls, as a testament to both British and Japanese everyday home pottery used in everyday family life. And I will be considering the space between the time of use, who used them, how they hold stories and their tactile shapes lend to me feeling my way through these stories. I will cover these vessels with papier mache, initially using Japanese papers that I collected at the enormous flea markets in Kyoto to create objects which will then be covered in vintage Japanese kimono silk, sourced during my time in Japan to create delicate vessels considering both Japanese concepts of Ma and Mono no aware. I can also use my cyanotype prints from when I had my studio at Bloc. But the fabric of the silk will enable me to embroider a into it and some of the stitches will hold the pots together, symbolising repair, connection, and the delicate tension between fragility / resilience and home life.
Kyoto Flea market
This new work builds on themes explored in my previous piece, ‘I Cannot Reach You, which was exhibited at Farfield Mill and Frontier Gallery both in 2025. Those installations incorporated my hand knitted textiles and archival photographs to reflect on the emotional and physical distance between sisters, drawing on my story of memory, identity, and silence between siblings. It was a deeply personal exploration of Ma, using garments and imagery to express the spaces between people and the quiet weight of what remains unsaid. While ‘ I Cannot Reach You’ was rooted in knitting, ‘Between Paper and Silk’ moves into new material territory—paper, silk, family pottery, and embroidery —while continuing to explore the emotional resonance of absence and connection.
I cannot reach you
If I am lucky enough to be accepted on the residency in Sheffield next year, the studio space will become a contemplative evolving installation, where the paper tea pots, bowls and cups are hung and arranged with intentional gaps, allowing the voids between them to become part of the narrative. Torn paper from Kimono packaging will be layered into the papier mache, evoking the beauty of incompleteness and paper vessels of impermanence. The Testing Ground spatial arrangement will reflect Ma, inviting viewers to consider not just the objects, but the spaces between them.
Here is my current work in progress. It is may family Burleigh Tea pot. It has 2 cracks in it. I have covered it in 4 layers of paper before testing the cyanotype paper over the top. But, I think that silk pots will be more tactile and hole more stories. Stories of the family pottery and of the vintage silk from Kimonos.
For the last couple of weeks, I have had some very hurtful, negative, comments about my latest knitting design, from women on social media and in groups – often with multiple exclamation marks about their oppinion about my Kaleidoscope pattern not being size inclusive.
My design was made for me, lovingly and creatively. It took 4 months to knit and design and write, alter, chart, photograph, teach the test knitter and promote the pattern. I put the pattern out honestly, with care and great attention to detail yet I have been constantly hammered about the pattern not being size inclusive because it’s one size up to 44 chest.
To make it every size in this pattern, would be a completely new pattern for each size and a test knit also. It is made up of 44 stitch repeat so to make it work, it would either go up or down in increments of 44 stitches which affects the alignment, where the V neck sits, the exgtra decreases on the armpits and shoulders and then the size of the sleeve would alter each time to fit. This is not just a quick adjustment, each size would be a completely new pattern and test knit. Size inclusive is not a law. It is a design choice if that cannot happen. It would take 18 months to write 4 patterns and do 4 test knits.
But my pattern is just one person’s creative vision – Mine. It is, however, inclusive for boys and my friend shows that in the photo taken this afternoon. It’s a beautiful knit and I’m stopped all the time when I wear it – A little like, ‘that’s a nice puppy’, kinda stopping to stroke and touch.
The negative comments and exclamation marks that I have received this past two weeks have not knocked my confidence in this piece but has made me want to stop sharing, stop teaching online colour work skills and stop designing – so, I put a notice to reflec this on a Stranded Knits facebook group and we broke facebook posts in 10 minutes with over 100 positive comments (just one little snidey comment)
The post that I put on the Facebook group this afternoon re balanced me. The women were supportive and really understood how social media forums are a space for anyone to say anything they like but would not say in a conversation face to face. They were all calm and helpful because I said that I would not answer any negative comments. It went wild. Over 60 positive comments and my responses in about 10 minutes until FB stopped after the 100th.
here are a few of the comments:-
1 Size inclusivity really matters. But as someone who advocates for consumer rights, I find it’s most productive to focus our advocacy on major brands and big-name designers. People may not understand that for indie designers, scaling up complex patterns like this is indeed similar to writing a new pattern in each size—meaning it’s just not feasible. I’m sorry that as an indie designer with just a couple jumper patterns available, you’ve been caught up in these dynamics—but I hope you also understand the advocates’ perspectives and feelings. It’s such a challenging systemic issue.
2 I find that designing sweaters and publishing good patterns is just not worth my time. The return (number of patterns sold) vs. the investment (knit first test, find and supervise test knitters, write pattern, revise pattern, photograph item) is just not workable. Socks are a better return for me as far as writing patterns. I knit sweaters for myself (size 3X) or my loved ones occasionally.
I agree. The wool for me and the test knitter was £200 to cover everything that’s without all the hundreds and hundreds of hours
3 It gets a bit exhausting when the dreamer gets questioned on why wasn’t it the dream for everyone?
I get for plain patterns why some get ouchy that it’s not in many sizes, but for cable work, stranded work: it’s a lot of math and a lot of testing and even then is NOT a guarantee that your construction “works” on a body, even if it matches the inches. Hang and drape and look are very subjective. And then you, the designer, is who gets yelled at because they did make it in size 84” and they spent “a lot of time and a lot of money on this amount of yarn” and then the sleeve didn’t set right “on them”.
People as a whole: if ANY knit pattern doesn’t suit YOU, just edit it. Tinker with it. Frog it and start again. And by the time you’ve redone your sweater five times to make it work “for you” realize the designer would’ve had to do “that” a million fold, if they wanted to make the pattern include every conceivable body. You’re basically expecting a masterclass in custom knitting fitting, for an $8 pattern.
In all, there were too many comments and we were not allowed to add any more – they were automatically turned off.
Here is a beautiful Shetland comment from a lady who also designs –
Your hard work. Your pattern. Your design publication. Your artist license Folk can choose tae enjoy, support & purchase…or scroll on. Dinna pay da moaners (trolls) ony heed & dinna respond tae dem. I received a message fae some een telling me I didna hay tae write in Shetland dialect – as du can see, I stopped, joost fir dem…nah
Dinna stop being YOU Tracey Doxey and keep lovin’ whit you create
I felt stronger after the supportive comments and I will not stop being me but this post, I think, is about the hurt that women cause women on social media when they do not have an informed opinion – it is a dig.
here is the pattern. and yes, the additional sleeve is an extra pattern because it is a design in itself – and here also is the test knit image with the Tree and Star Sleeves.
It feels like summer is drawing into autumn. The nights are drawing in and mornings are nippy. I’m grateful to be able to experience a safe, carefree, summer.
Water, river water, outdoor pool water and the water in the brook below the allotments has been a daily treat. We have been so short of rain that, in turn, we have been short of natural water outside but here are some of the luxuries of water
A summer of Flowers. All year, I have collected, saved and dried many flowers – from the first Peonies and Roses to the last Straw Flowers and Statis with Bronze Fennel, Daisies, Rosemary, Honesty, Yarrow, and any number of other flowers in between.
Every year, I make a dried flower wreath – this year, it felt like I made a ring of summer. I gathered all the left over flowers and made a bright ring for my daughter too.
On Bank Holiday Monday, it was Hope Show in the Village of Hope in the Peak District. It was a wonderful, happy day with sheep dog trials, Shire Horses, prize Sheep, Sheep shearing, many stalls – great food and stalls as well as a wool tent. I sat beside a couple I had never met before so that I could be near their beautiful Merle Sheepdog who only had eyes on the the sheep dog trials. It was another hot, bright day with thousands of people enjoying the many wonderful local shows. I loved the tent with the prize flowers, eggs, cakes and knitting. I will enter next year.
I went to Park Hill Summer Fair and my son arrived for the weekend, got straight out of his camper van and sat down to play chess with a complete stranger – this is Sheffield
I have been walking every evening in Sept in aid of Cancer Research Uk – where I will walk 3 miles every evening after work in my local area. I started a little early – about the 25th August and I will continue until September 30th. I share my walk on instagram in a post or in stories and share the local wildlife. If you would like to sponsor me, my link is here
I made a long overdue visit to see my daughter and her partner, in London – along with their dog, Luna, who had a fall.
and when In London, I saw beautiful hand made cards in a shop in Covent garden and promptly went back to Pattis and made two in the same style – here (below on the right) is the first one I made in vintage green checked ribbon. I think I am on to something.
and last but not least by any means, on Saturday, 6th Sept, I saw and felt deeply, the National Peaceful Protest of 300,000 people walking from Russel Square to Parliament to say that we do not agree with arming Israel to kill the people of Gaza. 300,000 people from all across the UK calmly marched to drums, singing, whistling and 800 were arrested – mostly over the age of 60 years old. It is all completely incomprehensible and we cannot turn away to what is happening.
So, I hope that you have had a good, care free summer, safe from harm and let’s hope that Autumn will bring world changes.
tracey doxey 